I can't help but laugh during The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when the witch speaks her "last words" to Aslan; "So much for love."

Now, considering the fact that this is a climactic moment in the movie, it probably seems inconsiderate to laugh. But I don't laugh because of what she says.... I laugh because I get it.

Pure EVIL (represented by the witch) turns to the KING OF THE UNIVERSE (represented by Aslan) and tells Him that she's won. Which, consequently, cracks me up... not because she has, but because of HOW WRONG she is about it.

It's nothing short of hilarious.

The KING has already defeated evil, and they haven't even seen it coming yet.

Satan seems to believe that he can coax God into letting go of us...

What he doesn't seem to grasp is that The only way to escape Jesus is to deliberately jump through the holes in his hands.

Jesus never lets go for a second... we only can choose to leave Him.

But the holes never close--you're always welcomed back.

That's the beauty of living for such a beautiful King. He never let's you down.

Mr. Beaver: "You've seen Aslan?"

Mrs. Beaver: "What's he like?"

Fox: "Like everything we've ever heard."

It doesn't take much to slip up.

It's fairly easy to "slip on the old clothes" and leave the new life unworn.

We could sing a thousand songs and it would never be enough.

The best thing we can do is to surrender.

So it is 12:01 AM, I am wide awake, and I start school again in 8 hours and 4 minutes.

I really should be tired... I had two hours of sleep on new years eve and I didn't fall asleep new years night (which was last night, by the way) until 2:00AM. I should be exhausted out of my mind and sleeping. Which I have been trying to do since 8:00 tonight.

Oh well... complaining isn't going to help anything.

Anyhow...

I really wish I had something somewhat thought provoking to share... I usually have something on my mind...

Ughh.

12:13.

I suppose I'll go read....

No point wasting my time online when I could be seeing how my friends in Narnia are doing haha.

... I need an entry about 2005.

What have I done this year?

Eventwise, nothing too substantial.

I made little kids cry in Laser Quest when I chased them around screaming and laughing like a maniac....

I spent 14 dollars in photo booths....

I saw Sweeney Todd (yikes).

I made new friends, mended old friendships, and had a few others mess themselves up.

I got sworn at by my drivers ed teacher.

I almost died three times in two days--(ryan driving twice, and then running across the parking lot with Chris and Julianne).

I dressed up as a pirate 4 times.

I missed one weekend of church.

I wrote a thousand chord progressions with a thousand lyrical misses.

I sand Wicked karaoke.

I was in a sweet musical.

I rode the carosel.

I fell down 7 (memorable) times. (I'm sure there were others)

I saw two red umbrella concerts.

I saw the killers with cedes.

I had friends fly in twice.

I went tubing on 6 foot waves.

I learned how to drive a car.

I almost hit my pastor's wife with it.

I learned how to drive a boat.

But I feel like I got a bit farther emotionally speaking.

I witnessed to three people in success, and planted seeds in quite a few others.

I spent time on my face.

I figured out where I stand with God, and did my best to not waste any more of HIS time.

I strengthened my relationship with Him, therefore strengthening my relationship with others--namely my little sister.

I set up a "battle plan."

I learned that opportunities come from God, but they don't always jump out at you.

I think I have myself together.

I feel like 2005 was a good year... not because everything went exceptionally well, but because I spent it figuring out who I am and who I need to be... and essentially combining those two.

I'm excited to start the new year knowing that person : )

When I'm there...

I wonder if I'll be able to draw straight lines.

I wonder if there's a fire that will never burn out.

I wonder if anyone will ever spill their orange juice on the table...

...or overcook their pasta.

I wonder if they need protractors to design buildings...

Or if they ever trip or get mud on their jeans.

I wonder if winters call for coats and scarves...

Or if there even is winter...

I bet there are all sorts of colors there that arent even in our spectrum.

I bet that our "clariten clear" is only a portion of the clarity of the colors.

I bet that there are all sorts of inventions and natural wonders that we can't possibly fathom.

Things we'd never expect to see... things we most likely rule out as a possibility.

Things we can't imagine.

I bet you can see the castle of the King from every home.

I bet you can see it from behind the mountains and from under the sea.

I bet it never leaves sight.

I bet it's always sunny, even when it rains.

I bet the smell of the clean air after it rains never leaves.

I bet we don't need shoes.

I bet there are creatures there that we never would believe existed.

I bet the roads are paved with gold that never grows dull.

I bet the skies are lined with silver.

I bet the snow is always pure and never becomes dirty or covered in footprints.

I bet that I'm not even capable of making it sound 1/100,000,000,000,000 of what it really is.

I bet that I can't even fathom how unfathomable it is!

I bet the King is gonna greet me at the gates.

I bet he's beautiful.

Wow.

Tonight was an eye opener.

Or, a kick to the teeth, rather.

Since the trip to Buckley, I felt God asking me to put myself aside. I've been doing my best; honestly, I spend time on my face to start and end the day. I walk the hallways with my mind set on how God and I could conquer the world today.

But...

I still have those times... whether it's deciding not to resist negative talk about someone or not serving someone the way that I should... when I'm like, you know what, this is MY life and I'll do with it as I please.

As Chad spoke tonight, I really realized how insignificant i am... or rather, how significant i am not.

I am in one tiny galaxy rotating one tiny star on one tiny planet in one tiny town...

And God is the GREAT "I AM." He's huge. I've always pictured him expanding over the earth, like a blanket. But I'm beginning to realize that our earth is just a TINY piece of the big picture.

And yet, Jesus cared enough for us humans who, being the maggots we are, messed everything up, to come and die for this tiny speck of rock.

I always picture it as God being a little kid with jars filled to the brim with perfect, flawless, marbles.

But he spends all of his time working to repair a dinky, shattered one because he loves it.

It doesnt matter that he could pick up a different marble and start again. He'd rather spend hours trying to put the tiny glass pieces together.

If God is I AM,

Then i am not.

But i can proudly say that, "i am not, but i know I AM." And that's the best gift of all.

Thanks, Jesus, for loving us in spite of ourselves.

Well I went into Buckley this weekend half expecting to be bored out of my mind.

I came out of it, three days later, a completely different person than I was when I walked through the doors.

All I have to say is that God is GOOD.

I've been on my face this past weekend just surrendering everything I have to him. And never in my life has my load been so light.

I surrendered all my burdens... I gave him the problems I'm dealing with in school and with friends; I handed him my sin.

It's not that I hadn't before, but this weekend it just really hit me hard.

GOD is amazing. He fulfills every promise. He watches your back. He catches you falls and doesn't look at you differently when you trip up a bit.

His love is OVERWHELMING. His grace is undying.

His glory is unfathomable.

I can't help myself but to share what he's done in my life.

I can't help but to want to show everybody the change in my life.

I CAN'T WAIT to see the journey he has in store for me!

: )

More and more lately I've felt that people are letting the little things, all the unimportant details, obstruct their view of the big picture. Decisions are being made based on things that don't matter; their influences are petty, worldly things, and frankly it's driving me crazy.

I feel like I'm gonna get sucked into it if I'm not careful, which is why I'm so excited to escape this week to go see Danielle. My word I miss that girl; she's been my lifeline for the past two years or so.

On another note...

I'm actually home for once haha.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Today I brought Jessica some tea and soup because she's sick, and I attempted to figure some new progressions out on my piano but my brain just isn't fully functioning today.

And on one last note: I DESPISE Little Shop of Horrors..

See you guys later

So here are the people i neglected to write about on time

Since it's over now, I actually have a spare moment to fill in who i've been missing in this baby. I believe I have 7 spaces yet to fill. Here goes:

1. Evey Mende: "I'm sorry that I piddled in your eye! I didn't know you was behind me!" "YOU lick her! No YOU do it!" "Do YOUR ears hang low?" "Is Hong Kong in China??"

2. Whitney Stewart: Probably the person I admire most in the universe-- what a nice girl : )

3. Jessica Elliott: I'm SO proud of her... she beat the odds and did an amazing job

4. Julia Krueger: An AWESOME dancer and an even better friend!

5. Tina Potter AND Courtney Marion: Two best stinking alligators EVER

6. Tarah Cole: Nicest kid ever!

7. Jennifer Manzer: AWESOME cheetah... too much fun for me

And to everyone else--I love you all, and although it's a bummer Children of Eden is over, this year isn't and I hope to have a lot more great memories with you guys! : )