i dont mean for this to be here... silly me.

* Quote compliments of Lindsay Prout.

I realized today what a blessing life truly is. Honestly, I have done absolutely nothing to deserve the people in my life who continue to challenge me spiritually and encourage who i am, the amazing God who has inspired life in me, or the things that keep me in good health. I am not even deserving of Alias... (sigh). It's just crazy to think that there are people out there who can't even sleep in a sheltered place at night, and then there's little me with my squishy bed and air conditioning.

I often get into the habit of complaining and nitpicking the little things in my life that aren't as i would have planned them to be...

During worship tonight, we sang a song that said "you thought of me above all" and it just hit me. I make huge mistakes, i completely put my own gain above others 85% of the time, and i never use the right words... and yet God bared himself to us and said "Here. You can have me. Do with me as you need to, because I want you to live for more than this world," and BAM here I am, sitting at a computer, typing about me me me.

God.

Thanks, my friend.

well, i havent been on this baby in forever... but some things are just too good to not share.

So it was an absolutely beautiful day... no wind, no clouds... just sunshine and warmth. So, I, simply being me, decided to take a walk down to the bay.

I called a couple of friends to see if they'd take a walk with me, but no one I called ended up answering. "Hm... How peculiar!" I thought. "It's Thursday! What could anyone be doing on a Thursday?!" With a shrug, I continued on my little excursion down the road.

On my way down, I began to pray. (I think God heard a little bit of everything from me yesterday). At points I was floored with awe at His presence, and at others I just felt a bit lonely. Nevertheless, I pressed onward with words to my Friend flowing from my lips.

Upon reaching the bay, I debated over whether to go down to the beach or just to sit on the bench at the top of the hill. Gazing down at the stunningly still water, I decided to press forward a few more feet. After clumsily maneuvering my way over a bunch of stones, I situated myself on my usual rock and reclined with my arms under my head.

All this time, I had been praying, but as I became comfortable, I began to focus on the real issues in my life. As I was praying (out loud, at that) I became a bit whiny and allowed myself to slip into the how-am-i-supposed-to-do-anything-for-anyone-when-i-can't-even-handle-myself mentality.

At this moment, the air still as still as ever, a heard a slight roaring sound. Seating myself back upright to see what this noise was all about, I noticed the bay abruptly beginning to roll. Before I had the chance to respond, a huge wave came up and soaked my shoes!!! As soon the rock I was seated upon had been hit with that wave, the bay was instantly still again. I searched everywhere for a boat (as the wind had not picked up at all) to explain the sudden spliashing that had occured, but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Then God spoke loud and clearly to me; "I am in control."

What?

"I am in control."

I danced all the way home.

WELL! update on MY life. not that this is ever read anymore :) but oh well

break!!

struggled with not hitting someone this week... but it's good... i have it allllllll under control... well, God does.

i got out of math 4/5 days this week :)

heading to chicago on tuesday... should be a bit of fun!

well thats all for the time being!

My cousin Scott is amazing. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Hey guys, After a long week with Doc dying and having the fear of being shot and blown up again, the week isn't over yet. One of our convoys that was headed back to base had an accident. A flare rolled on to the floor and rolled under the gas and break pedal, causing the humvee to roll completely over . The Gunner that was in the gun turret was killed. He was smashed by the vehicle and died 2 minutes later. The gunner that was in the turret was one of my close friends, like one of the ones I would hang out with in Hawaii. His name was PFC Bertolino (We called him Burt for short). He was a good Marine and a good friend, he was always there for his peers helping them out anytime possible. I remember one time he was there to help me on one of our death hikes in Hawaii. I was struggling on the 15 mile hike carrying the mortar system, so he took if from me and carried it for miles and hes not even a mortarman. The picture that I am attaching to this email is a picture of that 15 mile hike we were all on. He is the second one behind me, his best friend was right in front of him. His best friend took it very hard, I personally took it pretty hard. I cried almost all night, ive never lost a close friend before. This is the hardest thing ive ever gone through. I don't know how im going to get through these hard times. Our whole platoon (weapons platoon) of like 40 people have gotten so close in the past 7 months. It doesn't matter if you are a Senior Marine or a Boot, we ARE family!!! We are all we got. Bert and Doc Fralish's Memorial Service is Feb 11 (tomorrow). Its going to be hard for us, there will be lots of tears tomorrow. I don't think ive ever cried this much in one week (leaving manda to come here was pretty close though). All the other Marines and Docs are always there for me whether I am hurt or I need to talk. Like I said we are all family. So as much as yall are worried about me I will be fine, I am learning how to go through hard times and I have my family by my side. I am gonna do my best to make sure that all the Marines and Docs to the left and right of me come back alive, that's my number 1 priority right now. But anyways I have to go now, I love and miss you all and I will write back when I get a chance. I cant wait til im back home again. I love and miss you all.

Your (Son, Grandson, Nephew, Friend, and for Manda …BF)

Scott

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: One belonged to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

-Mary Stevenson

So Traverse City has pretty much been the dreary capital of the universe for the past 22 days... it's so bleak and glum out when there's no sunshine!

But my dear friend came out today and melted some snow and cast some warmth on my face for the first time in a while! Of course, it was also visiting on tuesday, but it wasn't quite so warm.

I deducted, though, over the last three weeks of grey, that there is no better day then when the sun is shining.

Of course, I adore the rain... I love standing in it and letting it purify everything around me, but there's no way to better see that purification than when the sun is shining brightly.

I didn't even realize that there was absolutely no color outside until the sun came back. I almost forgot it existed...

To me, there's no better proof that there is a wonderful, creative, intense Creator than to sit out on my back porch in the sunshine with the clouds passing me by and a squirrel jumping around in the branches of a tree... it's just the little things, you know? I don't so much care about the biggest buildings and the tallest towers and the fastest cars... it's just the squirrel in the tree and a little bit of sunshine.

I think I've been cursed with familiarity. You know, the "it's just another day, another walk home, another conversation, another prayer... no big deal" routine. When everything just becomes so regular you forget to realize how much you have... and then when the clouds come rolling in (both literally and figuratively speaking) it hits you in the face and you're like, "where's my sunlight?"

I guess the past three dismal weeks have really put everything into perspective for me.

I am on a beautiful earth (no matter how shattered it may be) filled with beautiful colors warmed by a beautiful sun made by a beautiful God.

There's not much more I could ask for.

Me: Take a look outside...

Friend: Yeah? What am I looking at?

Me: How'd it get there?

Friend: (long pause) *points upward*

Me: Now we're thinking : )